Hoping for better luck moving forword

Sorry for the delay in updating this.  Here are a bevy of excuses:

1.  I was furiously editing my novel “Dwight of the Living Dead” to meet the deadline for Quirk Books “Looking For Love” contest on October 1st.  I made it, so now comes the finger crossing.

2.  In the midst of all that, I had serious computer issues that cost me almost a week of productivity, eventually resulting in me having to buy a new computer.  Yay!

3.  WordPress issues galore!!

Anyway, I’ll try to do better from now on.

Thanks,

Grumpy

NOT INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN: The unauthorized biography of Rob Base if it were written by a hopelessly caucasian historian with only the lyrics to “It Takes Two” as his source material and Holy Crap did this title get out of control and sweet dammit why won’t I stop typing!

 

 

 

 

 

Rob Base, born Robert Base, was a man of few desires: to rock right now1, to be an M.C.2, to keep you in step3 (an ideal he believed to a “real funky concept”4), and respect5 (thematically common to the demogrpahic). While he never believed himself to have achieved worldwide acclaim6, he was able to eek out a modicum of notoriety in his ability to “rock the microphone,”7 a colloquialism oft used in reference to “rap” or “hip-hop,” musical expressions consisting of lyrical poetry set to a beat usually bass and/or percussion-heavy and predominantly urban in nature.

 

He was oft times the object of the amorous advances of women8, though he himself was not quite sure which of his attribtes was responsible for said reaction.9

 

Though not a trained medical professional10, he found himself possessing the skill to alter, positively, the moods of those around him11. In addition, he relied heavily on his abilty to out wit his competition12. And while this may have proven problematic for some of his peers, it is important to note to Rob was in fact no one to be trifled with13, but despite his bravado, he felt no need for any extraordinary measures regarding personal safety14,15.

 

Mr. Base was a self-proclaimed frugal man16, at least with regards to his intellectual property17. But he was quite giving of himself and his energies, willing to step up18 and assist anyone who might need it19. He concerned himself with fashion20,26, the youths of the world21, and “dissin’”22 (reference unavailable).

 

He was a strong and solitary man23 who valued honesty and trustworthiness above all else24. He was not concerned with matters as trivial as praise25. Nor was he afflicted by any of the more common speech impediments27,28. He also held firm beliefs about dietary questions prevalent during the era29.

 

And while he confessed to be egotistical in nature30, he was approachable31 and felt content to let each man or woman find his or her own way32.

I wanna rock right now1
I’m Rob Base and I came to get down
I’m not internationally known
6
But I’m known to rock the microphone
7

Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous
Stay away from me if you’re contagious
‘Cause I’m the winner, no, I’m not the loser
To be an M.C. is what I choose ‘a2

Ladies love me, girls adore me
I mean even the ones who never saw me8
Like the way that I rhyme at a show
The reason why, man, I don’t know
9
So let’s go, ’cause

My name is Rob, I gotta real funky concept4
Listen up ’cause I’m gonna keep you in step
3
I got an idea that I wanna share
You don’t like it? So what, I don’t care

I’m number one, the uno, I like comp
Bring all the suckers ’cause all them I’ll stomp
Bold and black but I won’t protect
All of my followers ’cause all I want is respect5

I’m not a doctor10, put them in rapture11
A slick brother that can easy outfox ya
12
‘Cause I’m Rob, the last name Base, yeah
And on the mike, I’m known to be the freshest

So let’s start, it shouldn’t be too hard
I’m not a sucker13 so I don’t need a bodyguard14
I won’t fess, wear a bulletproof vest
15
Don’t smoke Buddha, can’t stand sees, yes

The situation that the Base is in
I’m kinda stingy that’s why I don’t wanna lend16
A funky rhyme
17 to a foe or a good friend
But listen up ’cause I want you to comprehend

‘Cause I’m the leader, the man superior18
I take care of ya
19 and then ya get wearier
So just sit, my rhymes are not counterfeit
The record sells which makes this one a hit

It won’t hurt to listen to Red Alert
Take off your shirt make sure it don’t hit the dirt20
I like the kids, the guys, the girls
21
I want the ducats ’cause this is Rob Base’s world

I’m on a mission, ya better just listen
To my rhymes ’cause I’m all about dissin’22
‘Cause

I stand alone, don’t need anyone23
‘Cause I’m Rob, just came to have fun
Don’t need friends that act like foes
24
‘Cause I’m Rob Base, the one who knows

About things that make ya get weary
Don’t cheer me25, just hear me
Out ’cause I got the clout shout
(Ho)

Before I turn the party out
I won’t stutter27
Project my voice, speak clearly
28
So you can be my choice

On stage or on record
Go to the Wiz and select it
Take it off the rack, if it’s wack put it back26
I like the Whopper, fuck the Big Mac
29

If you want static, so let’s go
So, throw up your hands
Go for what you know32
Bro’, I got an ego
30
Yo, talkin’ to me? No

Oh, ’cause Rob is in the front
EZ Rock is on the Back up
We’re not soft, so you better just slack up
‘Cause I’m cool, calm just like a breeze31

Rock the mike with the help of EZ
Rock on the set, the music plays
Only cuts the records that I say

All right, now, EZ Rock
Now, when I count to three
I want you to get busy, you ready now?
One, two, three, get loose now ‘, I got an ego
Yo, talkin’ to me? No

Oh, ’cause Rob is in the front
EZ Rock is on the Back up
We’re not soft, so you better just slack up
‘Cause I’m cool, calm just like a breeze

Rock the mike with the help of EZ
Rock on the set, the music plays
Only cuts the records that I say

All right, now, EZ Rock
Now, when I count to three
I want you to get busy, you ready now?
One, two, three, get loose now